Why I Started This Blog

     Where to begin? At first, after my first suicide attempt back in January 2011, my friend suggested that I start journaling to get my feelings out. It seemed to work for a while, but my thoughts were extremely dark. Once my depression is truly over, I plan to burn my journals because they are something I never want to read again. As I wrote each journal entry, my emotions burst out of me like a dam breaking. I was often shaking and crying loudly as I wrote. I almost felt worse because I was buying in to all my dark thoughts and they made sense to me.
      In late 2011, the idea of starting a blog started to pique my interest. My sister is the one who gave me ideas. I initially started this blog for me. I felt it was a better way to get my feelings out and my sister said it would be therapeutic. The purpose of my blog transformed rather quickly. More and more people started to comment about my blog. This was a surprise to me because I didn't expect it to attract so much attention. People began messaging me and these were people who I had not spoken to in years. It touched me that they cared and they said my blog had touched them as well.  More and more of my friends told me that I would have no idea how many people actually read my blog because they told their friends about it and it was exponential from there. This has made me truly humbled and thankful. I think what makes my blog so captivating is that depression is something that so many people can relate to. It shows my good side and my bad side, warts and all. It shows that I am an ordinary person and that I have feelings and emotions just like everyone else.
      After receiving so much feedback, I decided to change the purpose of my blog. It wasn't just about me anymore. What I want people to get from my blog is inspiration, hope (through Christ), and to show people who are going through depression that they are not alone. I am always available to talk, even if we don't know each other that well. I want people to see how Christ is transforming my life and to show them that anything is possible through Christ. I hope people find strength and inspiration and I hope they realize that depression and suicide is nothing to be ashamed of. We all stumble. It's extremely important to get the help you need.