Last night, I was texting one of my friends. She was telling me how she felt and how she felt empty and I could tell that she was slipping into depression. She said she was scared of being alone and that she wants a real relationship. That's exactly how I feel and it's at the center of my depression but I realized something as she told me this. I realized that I'm really not ready for a relationship yet. It didn't really upset me. It was just a fact. I'm not ready for a relationship because I know that if I were to go into one now, it would just add more strain and it would destroy me if it didn't work out. I have to be strong to be in a relationship. I am currently weakened by depression and it would be a disservice to her and me if I were to get into a relationship at the state I'm in. God isn't done teaching me. I will wait patiently while He continues to strengthen and teach me.
I am glad that I saw this with a clear and open mind because if I was upset when I saw this, then this would have been much harder for me to accept. Yes it is frustrating to me but that's the way it goes. I just have to wait. My time will come. I wish to continue to help her through her depression. Her circumstances may be different from mine but the symptoms are the same. I refuse to stand by and watch depression overtake her. I met her when I worked at Goodwill. She was my fellow coworker and we connected quickly. She seems lost and unsure of her life. I will do my best to show her the way to Christ but the rest is up to the Holy Spirit.
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