It is time for me to go to work on healing past hurts. This won't be easy but with God, anything is possible. I trust in Him. My resentment is one of my biggest past hurts. Unfortunately, my therapist says that it left me with some permanent emotional damage but that doesn't mean I can't overcome it. If it's God's will, then He can heal me of this enormous hurt. God has slowly revealed things to me and has shown me passages of comfort. He does this slowly because He really wants me to understand and come to terms with what happened. He offers me hope and that is of great comfort to me. Things in the past that have hurt me so bad have already happened obviously and I can't change them. This battle is far from over. I will still have suicidal thoughts but I am committed to seeing this through.
A big opportunity has come to me very recently. Big to me, at least. My close friend whom used to be my co-worker is in a relationship but she has told me that this is his last chance because she's been hurt so many times by him. She went into the relationship very reluctantly and it's very unstable. If and when he breaks her heart, I will be there to comfort her. We are extremely close friends and we know each other's deepest and most darkest secrets. I have grown quite interested in her as of late and when the time comes, I'm going to see if a relationship will happen. I will wait patiently and I'm going to reflect and pray a lot. I do not want to repeat my mistakes from the past. I do believe I have learned from them. The big question is, am I ready for a relationship? I need the Lord's counsel on this. The foundation of my adult life is finally coming together. I am more confident and I have applied for many jobs. I will not go any further without consulting the Lord.
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