Depression may be an extremely strong adversary but it has weaknesses. Helping and leading others towards Christ has really weakened my depression. It's the most fulfilling feeling I've ever had. I feel like I'm finally contributing to God's kingdom and building treasures in heaven. In the end, that's really all that matters. For years, I thought the only way to contribute was to become a preacher and go to a country in need but God has shown me that I can just be of influence with the people around me and in my life. It's quite a relief and it takes a lot of stress off of my shoulders. It's given me a love for people and a passion for leading others towards Christ. Love is stronger than depression.
I am fully aware that my depression has just been temporarily weakened. I have not uprooted all off the major issues. I do not have the answers yet but I am confident that Jesus will sustain me. There will be hard times ahead but I will never be facing them alone. I believe I can come to a resolution to one of my issues by just focusing on Jesus. It's not going to be easy. I still have an overwhelming urge to find a wife. I have to believe that God will provide me one when I am ready and that is super painful for me to accept. This hole in my heart aches every day and I struggle with keeping hope. I try not to dwell on it so I shove this issue to the back of my mind and force it to remain dormant. Until I find an answer, this will haunt me. I have found no comfort in anything that people have said to me. I hold onto Jesus because He is my only tangible hope and I will continue to hold onto Him for the rest of my life.
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