My psych session yesterday hit me harder than I thought. I woke up at 2 in the morning with a racing heart and didn't get to sleep until 5. I feel this overwhelming sadness. I still have a broken heart. Nobody said this would be easy. There's still a long road ahead of me. Suicidal thoughts have already started to whisper suggestions to me. The battle starts today. There is no break period. I still see many days and nights filled with tears and fears. Giving in is not an option. I'm already exhausted from fighting suicidal thoughts and they continue to seep into my mind. Luckily, I have Jesus with me so He can give me rest.
I have a heavy heart today. I feel alone. Yet, I am not alone. My friends, Therapist, Family, and Jesus are all there for me. I get hollowed out so easily and I fill up with pain. Tears well up in my eyes. Depression feels like a huge monster that I can't control. I am so weary. My heart aches for a wife. I feel beaten down and angered by resentment. This is something I will have to cope with for the rest of my life. I definitely won't come out of depression without some emotional scars. But even those are temporary. He will wipe away every tear
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