Suicide Is Never The Correct Answer

       Now obviously, everyone knows that suicide is never the answer. People just say this automatically because they themselves have never had to experience the crushing prison of clinical depression or had to deal with suicide personally. I can honestly say that suicide is much harder to resist when one is under the influence of severe depression. Now when I'm not constantly bombarded with automatic negative thoughts, it's quite easy to say no to suicide. But when my depression is triggered by something, I completely lose it. All rational thought is thrown out the window and on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst, I go from a 1 to 10 in less than five minutes. When you become suicidal, you are NEVER thinking clearly in that state of mind and it becomes a battle of will. Since I have had a few close calls with suicide, it pops up more frequently in my mind. When something happens that really upsets me, I look for ways to escape the pain. My first thought is this, "I want to die." I've spent nights on my knees weeping and praying for God to take my life because the pains is so much. That prayer is never answered, or so I think. More and more, while I'm in this state of mind, once I start breathing normally and the tears stop flowing, I usually end up passing out from exhaustion. I believe this is God's way of relieving me from the pain.
         Suicide is something you must resist and fight. Suicide is not only hurting you, it's hurting your family and friends as well. A suicidal person is an irrational person and their emotions are magnifying all the troubles they are facing. A suicidal person is focused only on themselves and I can tell you from experience that when you are suicidal and you're constantly thinking of ways to die, time seems to slow down and every other sound is shut out. It's just you, your thoughts, and your will. It may seem super hard to do but you must make yourself busy. You must get out of your chair and occupy yourself with other things. Even talk to a friend. GET HELP. I've trained myself where whenever I get suicidal, I force myself to talk to my friends about it. For those of you thinking about suicide or know someone who is suicidal, know this: These feelings will pass. Talk to the person in a firm but loving manner. You are not alone.