Everyone's going to die. It's a fact of life and it's a consequence of sin. God is right when He punishes sin with death. But God loves us so much that He sent His beloved son to die for our sins so that we do not have to suffer eternal damnation. I have been a christian all of my life. My earliest thought of death was when I was no more than eleven years old. I knew that I was going to die someday but it just didn't really hit me. It didn't seem real to me because for most of us, when we're kids, we're shielded from those kind of things until we grow older. There's death all the time on television but most of that is acting. It dulls our senses. We are so often distracted with what our culture throws at us so that we don't see reality.
What is death? As Christians, we are spiritually dead without Christ and we suffer eventual physical death due to sin. Eventually, we will stop breathing and our hearts will stop beating. I am not so fearful of death itself. I am more scared of the pain rather than the actual event. Having tried to take my own life multiple times, I see how fragile our lives really are. I have stared my own mortality in the face. I have shuddered and cried because I had felt that the pain in this life was too much for me to endure. My thinking became so warped and twisted that I would often go immediately in my mind to suicide whenever something very painful happened. I did this because it was a defense mechanism. A mechanism that I am finally free of. I think it is truly wonderful how God can turn such a horrible and unbelievably painful experience and turn it into something good and valuable. I am no longer materialistic. I realize that I will die someday and it is for God to choose that day and not me. Everything on this earth is temporary. I will wait patiently for the lord. I do still have desires and dreams that I wish to see fulfilled but I realize now that God's timetable is better than my own and He knows what is best for me. He still has things for me to do and learn before I meet 'the one'.
When I was in the midst of suicidal thoughts and tendencies, I saw life as nothing but humiliating and a curse. I saw death as a welcome friend. I am not going to live my life as if I am in control of it because ultimately, I am not. I feel comfort and relief knowing that God controls my destiny. I will help people in any way I can. Today, I see death as the last obstacle for me to overcome. There are days when I wish I could just be with the lord but it's not my time. Life has it's joys. There is still some measure of happiness to be found. My job and goal for now is to grow in wisdom and favor with the lord. There is always more to learn. I need to build up treasures in heaven. I think everyone should fear death at least to a certain degree. It is a punishment, but if you accept Jesus, it becomes so much more bearable and then you will be in paradise with Him! That always makes me smile. Heaven is fun to think about but the bible only offers us glimpses of what it will be like. Death is just the beginning. Jesus conquered death and He will raise you up into eternal life if you accept Him. I know I did and it's the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
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