Crimson

      Resentment. I can tell you with complete honesty that it is like a poison. Nearly everyday, I am seething with anger, which in turn eventually turns into tears and ends up fueling my depression. Words cannot describe how painful it is. I've prayed countless times to be able to forgive and let go but.... No luck. I've harbored this resentment for 10 years now but for some reason it's all come to a head. It has never affected me this badly before. Sometimes for hours, I'll be thinking of why I feel this way and it's come to a point where it disrupts my day to day activities. I can honestly say I have never felt so angry in my life. I wish I was able to forgive but no matter how many times I've tried, the blinding rage comes back and then I'm back to seething in anger. It doesn't just anger me though, it also breaks my heart and makes me feel betrayed. I am a prisoner of resentment and thus far, I have found no way to release myself from it's grip. I have nothing more to say other than I am no longer capable of doing this on my own