Changes

      I am not one who copes well with change. But I cannot deny that some change is necessary and good. You will never get anywhere if you do not flow with the current of change. Something I've been determined to do lately is to change my lifestyle and my way of thinking. The first step for me is to get to the bottom of what is truly wrong with me. More and more of my family suspects that I have aspergers syndrome. I think that as well because after reading about it, the symptoms describe me so well. I will not use it as an excuse to continue doing the things that I do. Rather, I will find solutions and I am bringing it up to my therapist next week.
          A comment posted on one of my recent posts got me thinking. I do have my priorities wrong. I should be focusing on Christ before I do anything else. It's just been so hard because frustration and depression has been blocking everything. I refuse to fall back into the same old routine. I am making plans to work out and eat healthy. Meeting new people will also greatly help. Inaction is unacceptable to me. I am determined to live a new life. If I do have aspergers, it will not bring me down. Until then, my number one priority must be Christ. I'll admit; I was so angry with God because I felt like he wasn't doing anything for me. I honestly wish I could just hear his voice. I was so fed up. But after much pondering and soul searching I realized that he can speak MANY more ways than one. He can speak through someone's actions, he can speak through others words.  Deep down, I knew that God wasn't to blame. I am not weak. Many other people go through the same crisis of faith as me and they overcome it. I can too.