Depression is like a darkness that won't stop advancing until it has consumed you completely. I often struggle holding onto hope. Rage often flares up over a past hurt. It drains all my energy and I don't know how to let go. I honestly don't see how I can let this pass. And yet I know it is like an anchor that drowns me.
I hide everything I feel and fear because I have an extremely hard time trusting people. I feel that if I truly aired out everything I felt, I would be thrown in a psych ward. Depression truly is the hardest thing I have ever fought. I feel depressed even when good things happen to me, because I am so used to feeling this way. I often feel guilty for the way I feel because it seems like a christian should never have these kind of thoughts. I just feel so utterly lonely and in despair. I see people younger than me getting married and being happy and it eats me alive. Depression is psychological and emotional torture. Depression is a darkness that presses in all around me and suffocates me. It pushes hope and words out of me. It bleeds and pierces so deep into my being that it leaves me speechless and in tears
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