When we get depressed, we always question the reason for our suffering. We ask age-old questions such as 'Is there a God? Why is this happening to me?' I actually resisted asking questions about God's existence. Mine were centered more around, 'How long must I endure this? Why me?' I still struggle with these questions at times but I am somewhat relieved when I remember what the bible says about suffering. We are commanded to rejoice when affliction come upon us because this means that God is testing us and shaping us to become more like Him! Now, for those of you still suffering, you may scoff at this statement but do not take it lightly. People yearn for a cause for their suffering. Many people see suffering as needless and cruel. It may seem cruel to our human point of view but God knows what He's doing. He has not forgotten about you. Jesus is referred as a 'man of sorrows' He suffered things many of us can only imagine. Severe pain unto death, betrayal, persecution, isolation for 40 days, temptation, loneliness. Those are but a few examples. I can't imagine suffering that much but it is a comfort to know that Jesus knows what I am going through. It's hard to be positive when you are filled with so much sadness and heartbreak. Just know that God is in control and He is fully capable of turning suffering and tragedies into something wonderful. I f we had no trials, then we wouldn't grow and we'd be without hope. Suffering is present for many reasons, We live in a fallen world but God is at work daily.
I have often tried to pinpoint the reasons/causes for my depression. I came up with more byproducts than reasons. Depression slowly tightened it's grip on me over time. I would say that loneliness and lack of intimacy with others and God are the top causes of my depression. I must confess that there are things that perplex me. As I deal with depression, I find more and more hurt and conflict bubbling up from my past. I have many spiritual conflicts within myself. It is safe to say that I am in the grip of resentment and bitterness. I have been extremely stubborn and unforgiving. I acknowledge my sins and I endeavor to resolve these conflicts. A past event in my life has cut me so deep that I have had emotional and psychological problems for more than half of my life. That is the root of my unforgiveness. I have buried it for too long. It is clear to me that God wants this resolved. I've often prayed why this ever happened to me because it was so personal and it shattered my heart and my self confidence as well as how I see myself. I have to have faith in the lord and I do have hope. One day, I will get a new body. One that is holy and free from the clutches of sin and sorrow. Until that day comes, I will accept whatever trials the lord puts me through. It just means that he loves me and has special plans for me.
More and more, I feel fulfilled by helping others who are suffering. Sharing the gospel to the broken is awesome. It gives people hope; a true and tangible hope.God is definitely there during times of suffering. God speaks loudest when our suffering is at it's greatest. You must push past the pain and be willing to listen. Passivity is something you cannot afford when it comes to your soul. Jesus urges immediate action when it comes to conflicts. I have failed many times in heeding his advice and I have paid dearly. The costs include bitterness, envy, anger..... and those are just the emotional consequences. Suffering can be a result of sin. Is it always sin? I think not. If you look in the book of Job, it says that God allowed Satan to cause great suffering for Job. Pinpointing Satan as responsible for suffering is very tricky business. I believe God only put that in His word to show us that Satan is very real and he constantly tries to bring us down. We may learn some reasons for our suffering but God often doesn't reveal everything to us. I look forward to asking Him when I get to heaven. Train yourself to rejoice and praise God during trials and tribulation. It's his way of teaching us to become more like Him. You have two choices: You can either learn from your pain or you can succumb to it. What will you choose?
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