A Roadblock

  Holding a grudge is like carrying a ball and chain around with you. It has caused me so much bitterness, anger, pain, and grief. I've prayed so hard that I could just let it go and move on but it sticks to me like a leech. It has caused my faith to waver and it hurts just thinking about it. This grudge has caused me so much grief and anger for ten years but I am somehow unable to let go. It is definitely the strongest root of my depression. It's carried me very close to hate and I am at a loss as of what to do at this point. It's so exhausting even thinking about it because I will just go into a tailspin and then I'll be in tears. I feel my only option is to forget about it but this has been very hard to do seeing as it affects me everyday. Only God can heal me at this point but it appears that he wants me to go through this for some reason. I literally feel like screaming and it's hard not to wonder, 'why me?' It's my burden and I will bear it. However I am unsure how much longer I can bear it before another breakdown happens. Only time will tell and I need as many prayers as I can get.