Alone

      Depression can be a paradox at times. I want to be left alone at times but then I also crave being around people. Not just people. Women. My therapist and I have noticed that I tend to gravitate towards have more female friends than male friends. I still haven't really figured this out but I feel that the intense loneliness I feel from being single has a lot to do with it. It's something I've struggled with since I was a preteen. It hurts me a lot. Losing myself in God's word has really been my only comfort in this world.
    There are times when I get so tired and depressed. I grow weary of this life and this world and it becomes very hard for me to see anything good come out of it. It's so full of sin and fleeting pleasures. Christ is the only thing permanent, unchanging, and does not pass away. Just rereading this post has made me realize I am still in depression's grip. I must cling to Christ all the more. In the end, He is the only thing that matters. People and girls can only give me so much. Things I used to enjoy like video games and television don't hold my attention the way they used to. I only use those to pass the time. It's to the point where it even hurts to hang out with friends because they always mention their other half. I would like prayers to numb this pain. I don't really know what else to pray for