Depression can be a paradox at times. I want to be left alone at times but then I also crave being around people. Not just people. Women. My therapist and I have noticed that I tend to gravitate towards have more female friends than male friends. I still haven't really figured this out but I feel that the intense loneliness I feel from being single has a lot to do with it. It's something I've struggled with since I was a preteen. It hurts me a lot. Losing myself in God's word has really been my only comfort in this world.
There are times when I get so tired and depressed. I grow weary of this life and this world and it becomes very hard for me to see anything good come out of it. It's so full of sin and fleeting pleasures. Christ is the only thing permanent, unchanging, and does not pass away. Just rereading this post has made me realize I am still in depression's grip. I must cling to Christ all the more. In the end, He is the only thing that matters. People and girls can only give me so much. Things I used to enjoy like video games and television don't hold my attention the way they used to. I only use those to pass the time. It's to the point where it even hurts to hang out with friends because they always mention their other half. I would like prayers to numb this pain. I don't really know what else to pray for
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Salvation
God doesn't promise to keep us from sorrows. Jesus is a man well acquainted with sorrow. He does offer us grace in abundance and is with us throughout our sorrows and suffering. My God is a great god. He constantly teaches me. Whether I am crying out from the crushing pain of depression or smiling while I hold my nieces, he is there. He never leaves me and he always has something for me to learn in each and every situation in my life. However, I learn best when I am deep in study of the Lord's word. He reveals to me things I hadn't considered or things that make me go 'aha!'. The most recent thing that has been on my heart is salvation.
One thing we forget and/or overlook is that Jesus doesn't offer salvation to everyone. ' For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.' John 3:16 We must believe in him to have eternal life. That is all he asks of us. This is difficult for many people to accept because they want to go their own way. I believe that as Americans, this is so engrained in our culture that it has made us stubborn and arrogant. We want to pursue our own happiness. That is natural. Even I want to pursue my own happiness. I thought that was finding a wife but does that really last? Is that truly stable and eternal. The answer is a resounding no. God's first commandment is to have no other idols before him. I am definitely guilty of breaking this commandment. I confess it and I repent to the Lord. I have become convinced that Jesus is the true pathway to happiness. He is the ultimate desire of my heart. I have no illusions. I know I will stray from this path because I am a sinner. It is so hard to keep focused on Jesus. Why? Because the flesh is desperately wicked and the world offers us so many temptations. Even keeping focused on the lord, there are temptations concerning our flesh and the suggestions of men.
One of these dangers is legalism. Legalism is the promotion of good works over grace in getting to heaven. This is something we all struggle with and sadly, many people believe that being a good person will get them to heaven. It's good to be good, sure. But Jesus became the sacrifice for us so whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life. This is good news for us because it takes the pressure off in a way. It is human nature to want to do something in order to obtain something but we have nothing but rags to offer Jesus. Doing good works comes with the holy spirit.
The other danger is license. This is basically thinking 'oh I'm saved so I can do what I want and I'll be forgiven.' True, you will be forgiven but this is not without consequence. God will forgive us but he doesn't save us from the consequences of our actions. This ideology is nothing but 'license' to give into your flesh. We must deny ourselves and take up the cross.
The solution to avoid these dangerous ideologies is to find a medium between the two. I believe this is something nobody can truly master this side of heaven. The closer we get to God, the more we realize that we are mired in sin and how imperfect we are. My prayer is that you realize your need for a savior before it is too late. Following Christ isn't about rules. Christ came to save us from the condemnation of the law of Moses. It's about becoming the person that God created you to be and to be a light to others in a dark world. I honestly hate to see others suffer. I wish to lead them to the bread of life so they will never hunger again.
Depression has changed me for the better. I understand Christ in a way I could never have known had he not led me into this dark valley. He saves in more ways than one
One thing we forget and/or overlook is that Jesus doesn't offer salvation to everyone. ' For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.' John 3:16 We must believe in him to have eternal life. That is all he asks of us. This is difficult for many people to accept because they want to go their own way. I believe that as Americans, this is so engrained in our culture that it has made us stubborn and arrogant. We want to pursue our own happiness. That is natural. Even I want to pursue my own happiness. I thought that was finding a wife but does that really last? Is that truly stable and eternal. The answer is a resounding no. God's first commandment is to have no other idols before him. I am definitely guilty of breaking this commandment. I confess it and I repent to the Lord. I have become convinced that Jesus is the true pathway to happiness. He is the ultimate desire of my heart. I have no illusions. I know I will stray from this path because I am a sinner. It is so hard to keep focused on Jesus. Why? Because the flesh is desperately wicked and the world offers us so many temptations. Even keeping focused on the lord, there are temptations concerning our flesh and the suggestions of men.
One of these dangers is legalism. Legalism is the promotion of good works over grace in getting to heaven. This is something we all struggle with and sadly, many people believe that being a good person will get them to heaven. It's good to be good, sure. But Jesus became the sacrifice for us so whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life. This is good news for us because it takes the pressure off in a way. It is human nature to want to do something in order to obtain something but we have nothing but rags to offer Jesus. Doing good works comes with the holy spirit.
The other danger is license. This is basically thinking 'oh I'm saved so I can do what I want and I'll be forgiven.' True, you will be forgiven but this is not without consequence. God will forgive us but he doesn't save us from the consequences of our actions. This ideology is nothing but 'license' to give into your flesh. We must deny ourselves and take up the cross.
The solution to avoid these dangerous ideologies is to find a medium between the two. I believe this is something nobody can truly master this side of heaven. The closer we get to God, the more we realize that we are mired in sin and how imperfect we are. My prayer is that you realize your need for a savior before it is too late. Following Christ isn't about rules. Christ came to save us from the condemnation of the law of Moses. It's about becoming the person that God created you to be and to be a light to others in a dark world. I honestly hate to see others suffer. I wish to lead them to the bread of life so they will never hunger again.
Depression has changed me for the better. I understand Christ in a way I could never have known had he not led me into this dark valley. He saves in more ways than one
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