Depression's easy to get through when you're too busy to even think about it but there are times when it hits you out of nowhere. Hard. Loneliness isn't easy to forget. It makes you feel alone even when you're in a crowded room or surrounded by friends. For me, it makes me super quiet and I avoid contact with people. The more lonely I feel, the harder it is to share my feelings and the more hope I lose. I have all but given up in hoping for a relationship.In fact, I have lost so much hope that I don't even trust God to take care of that area of my life anymore. I don't touch that area of my life either. It's a catalyst for suicide so I let it gather dust.
How do you regain hope when you have lost all patience? It really does feel like a distant thing and it feels intangible. It makes my heart heavy and it makes life seem dark. Depression has made me feel like life is nothing but a testing and training ground where endurance is all that matters. I feel so beaten down and hurt. I feel like there's no choice but to keep going. No rests, no breathers. My priority is to regain my faith but and trust in God but that's easier said than done. I need to start exposing myself to church again for a start. Everything else is uncertain
